22

I came home. There was this note "Anacreron, my beloved one, I'm spending the weekend on my parents home. We see us soon. Bye".

And it was that. Rough, not even a kiss. With the same tone of casualty and unimportance that I felt since we began dating. It was all a great shit. The world, life, people.

Something was awakening inside of me. Some dark giant monster, he moved in my intestine trying to come out. I loved her. She loved me, I think. We spent a lot of time together, and we were like perfect counterparts, metal gears, one destined to the other. We loved and shared and, even now, I felt myself lonely, more lonely than I never felt in my whole life. Absolutely alone in a meaningless world. I knew what I was up to do, and I didn't liked it. I was nearly doing the crazy stuff.

The sands of time ran away, and that made me clear that there are few escapes. Each time our chance became harder. Beyond loneliness, despair, unfaith in healing. There was no healing, it was in no one, it didn't existed. That was what made it all worst, and if I couldn't learn to live with that violent and torturing loneliness my primordial monster would dominate me, my first inner scream. I was in a mad rush to the end, and all I could see was the final catastrophe.

Loneliness. Fear. Pain. Nothing more. Just old books, hidden tears, hidden sadness inside of me, and the hate of my self turned against everyone else. World, life, people, everything. It was all a great shit.